The Secret Life of the Watermelon

The watermelon.......................................a very reclusive and misunderstood form of life.

When you hear of a watermelon you probably think of a hot day with you eating a poor helpless fruit but what you don’t think of is that these fruits, like all living things, are alive and have a very intricate society and way of life. Watermelons are rather sloth-like creatures. They are completely nocturnal and are quite shy but if you stay up till late at night you will find that it’s a whole different world for the watermelon (and you). Watermelons have big heads (we will talk more about that later) and very long necks and late at night when you should be sleeping like 7:30 they still don’t move they just sit there but when it reaches about 12:00 (which is when their prey; a type of beetle which is very small and that is also nocturnal, come out) they seem to magically come to life. Well when these little poor beetles come out to moon-bathe the water melon slowly (let me stress slowly) picks its head up and opens its enormous mouth with its big blunt teeth and PLUMP!!! It falls on the little beetle and eats him with a chomp. If you cut a watermelon open (if you would be so cruel as to do so) you will see the little shells of the beetles they are commonly misunderstood for a seed but they aren’t. The smaller and younger ones have white shells because they can not eat the beetles with the harder black shells so they eat the softer and more numerous white-shelled ones.

The mating habits of watermelons are rather mysterious and have baffled scientists for centuries. But after long and extensive studies (spanning over the space of almost two whole hours).I have come upon some amazing discoveries.

When a watermelon comes upon a flower it rolls onto its end and proceeds to bounce on the flower. This bouncing excites the flower so much that it dies. After the flower is thoroughly dead the watermelon spits a seed into it and leaves. The seed grows inside the dead flower and eventually becomes a mature watermelon.

Millions of water melons are slaughtered each day for the sake of perverted people who with there blood thirsty and cannibalistic minds eat these poor helpless creatures.

What are you going to do to help save the water melons?